It is an impossible situation. This rat in his cage that you built will go looking through the slithers of the mirror, he looks right through the cracks, thinking: sorry, that he had seen his eyes even though it was through his own (but, not quite glass).
As lost as you are blind, see, you still have the maximum openness. Exit is everywhere. Yet you’ll find another, some openings, shy from the sky, in the house that aren’t a door, an origin that marks the point of no return.
Where, where to start?
You’ll find yourself in a slow crawl through a closing door. Pointlessly, you will try to calculate what we will and will not find, reaching for some light to fill your reflection. You hope to guide your sorry way, like rotting meat outstretched in loveliness and beauty, before this seat of shame. You’re afraid to see the same walls but you crawl backwards. Maybe if you had more time . . . You come back around, sinking deeper where the ground comes up slightly and you’re earthbound now to whatever comes down beneath you.
What if everything around you is a single thin straight line that you might never reach.
Your body pulls you right back to a place you once knew. You can see this is not where it belongs.
Exit is everywhere.
Would you stay at all if you knew your devils and gods loved a liar?
But this is your only face, desperate to control all and everything, incapable of fucking normal emotions.
Better not look him too closely in the eye because he has no fear of being caught. And yes, this too has been tested.
Well, it’s still no excuse just to keep the lights off.
This is a collage of some songs and literature. (VNV Nation, Acretongue, Nine Inch Nails, Coil, E.B. White, Front Line Assembly, Dead When I found Her, Tool, Mark Danielewski, Angelspit.)
I dedicate this to the year of my lifespan that calculus II has mercilessly claimed this past summer.
I’ve been thinking about William S. Burroughs a lot; I recently finished Naked Lunch. It’s been great to disconnect from social media and instead surround myself with media that makes me excited and makes me think, as much as I love memes. It’s weird to find out many of my inspirational artists knew each other and collaborated, or were pointedly inspired, but also not really that surprising. I’d like to join in this society, where can I find the application forms?